Archive for enthusiasm
June 17, 2011 at 5:32 pm · Filed under depression, domestic help, energy, enthusiasm, the Exfactor
It’s not been a bad day when you consider that I’m in the company of the ‘Black Dog.’ I think I was well prepared this morning when I got up and didn’t have to alter my expectations about the day too much. I knew it wasn’t going to be a fun day, so I just accepted that from the start.
I got up late and took my time having a cup of coffee and a glass of juice. Just when I was awake to some extent, the Exfactor showed up. His timing was excellent because he could take care of some things that were on my list of things to do, but that I was most definitely not looking forward to. He did them for me cheerfully and quickly, especially when he realized that I was a bit under the weather.
As a result, I’ve been able to stay in my pajamas and bathrobe and haven’t had to change into my clothes yet. I haven’t even combed my hair, but just ran my fingers through it. I’m glad that I didn’t have to make the effort because I find moving from my armchair to my bed and to the computer enough of a challenge. It’s amazing how much energy you have to put into those things. They do wear you out.
A domestic help also showed up (not my regular Friday one, I haven’t seen her in weeks). She cleaned the place up well enough, although it didn’t get the thorough scrubbing that it usually gets. I thought I couldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and that’s what she was. I’d gone without help for 11 days.
That’s all the enthusiasm I have for right now. I’ve run out of steam.
Have a good evening all of you.
Ciao,
Nora
August 25, 2010 at 11:21 pm · Filed under antidepressants, bedtime, books, chores, coffee, early morning, enthusiasm, feelings, garden, pharmacy, psychiatrist, sisters, sleep, television, Tyke, weather
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I haven’t been to bed yet and although I’m sitting here yawning, I’ve decided to stay up a while longer. I’ve just watched an Inspector Linley episode and it was exciting as usual with a surprising ending. There’s always a twist to the story at the end that I was not counting on. When you think the mystery has been solved, it turns out to be a little more complicated than that.
Now I’m sitting here with my last cup of Senseo coffee and the next cup will be from the coffeemaker that I still have to set up. I’ll have to set the clock on it using the instruction booklet and I will have to do that some time in the middle of the night when I get up again, or early in the morning if I’m lucky. I may just surprise myself and sleep all night in one fell swoop, you never know. Stranger things have happened. Usually at this time of night I’ve already slept a few hours and I’m about ready to get up again. Now I think I’m being smart and I’m skipping that part.
Tyke is standing on the dining table again looking out the window. It pleases him so much to do this and he knows he has to be on his best behavior, otherwise it is not allowed. He can’t bother Gandhi if she’s also on the table, he has to be a good boy.
I slept until 11 o’clock this morning and had a leisurely cup of coffee while I watched the news and woke up properly. Of course, I also have to bond with Tyke in the morning, so I’m always busy when I first get up. I’m lucky that I don’t have to walk him right away, because he’ll go out back until I’m dressed and ready. I can take my time. I straightened out the kitchen afterwards and cleaned up all the debris that was strewn out over the living room floor. Tyke had been tearing things apart. He was in one of those moods. He goes looking for things to shred and they’re usually unimportant, so I let him. It gets his silliness out.
I called my sister and I think she was glad to hear from me, because it meant that I was still on speaking terms with her. It is true that for a number of days I had felt a lot of frustration with her, but as I got over my own feelings of stress and tension, I got over those feelings too and I was okay again with her and I could talk normally to her. She wanted me to come over to her house, but I had to go to an appointment with my psychiatrist first and I promised that I would come over afterwards.
I rode my bike over to see my psychiatrist and was dressed too warm in my leather jacket, but I hadn’t realized how muggy it was going to be. It had been cooler earlier, but in the afternoon it grew warmer and the sun came out, much to my surprise. It’s such unpredictable weather.
My psychiatrist and I had a good talk and we agreed, with much input from me, to decrease my antidepressants. I’m doing well now and I’m on a high dose, which doesn’t leave me much leeway for when I really need it. It’s better to lower the dose as much as I can and to increase it if necessary. I started to decrease it today. He said I should have more energy as the medication has a tendency to constrain your enthusiasm. It makes you a bit dull and flat emotionally. I didn’t have to decrease, he left the option open to me. I thought, I’m going to have to do it some time, now is as good a time as ever. I’m quite excited about doing with less medication.
I had to stop by the pharmacy to pick up the proper capsules and then I went to my sister and drank a tall glass of water with ice cubes in it. I was so thirsty. I was standing in the pharmacy completely dried out, looking at the licorice and candy, wanting some and thinking they would make me too thirsty, so I didn’t get any. I did regret that afterwards. It would have been nice to share a bag of licorice with my sister.
We had coffee in the garden in which my sister has already planted some flowering plants and it’s starting to look pretty. One flowerbed is going to be Mediterranean because it gets a lot of sun. She gave me a book that she had accidentally ordered twice. It’s by Marianna Frediksson and it’s called Inge and Mira. Last week she gave me the novel Late Night In Twisted River by John Irving. It’s a big book that she couldn’t get through. I’ll try my best. Has anybody read it? It’s possibly very boring. John Irving does do that once in a while. Write boring books.
I have to go to bed now. It’s time. I do have to try and sleep tonight, much as I’d like to stay up. I have to be sensible.
Have a good morning!
Ciao,
Nora
March 25, 2010 at 2:19 pm · Filed under antipsychotic, clothes, dogs, enthusiasm, excitement, grocery shopping, nap, sisters, walks, weather
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My sister and I took the dogs for a long walk and the sun was shining and it was warm outside and I regretted my choice of clothes and the fact that I didn’t have anything to drink with me. What I wanted more than anything was a cold Coke, but there weren’t any around where we were walking and we only passed a hardware store. When we got home, Tyke immediately went to his water bowl and I went to the refrigerator to drink a lot of cold milk straight out of the bottle. I can do that, because I’m the only one who lives here.
I wanted to change my clothes, but I didn’t have time, because my sister came to pick me up to go grocery shopping. We drove there with the windows rolled down and it felt good. Luckily, it was cool in the store, so I wasn’t too miserable. I was done shopping quickly, because I almost always get the same old things and I know my way around the store by now. I got the French cheeses and Mr Muscle Cleaner. It’s got to work as good as anything and it was on sale. I hope my domestic help is happy with it. She’s got to scrub with it.
I first put the groceries away when I got home and then took my tights off and changed my top to a tank top and that was quite a relief. Now I have cool legs and cool arms. It’s 20C and much warmer than they had predicted. The sun is shining and they said it would be 17C and cloudy. Tomorrow it’s supposed to be 11C and rainy. I hope they get that wrong too. I complain about the cold, but 20C is plenty warm enough for me. It really doesn’t need to get warmer than that.
I feel surprisingly unexcited without the urge to write many posts and without the feeling that I have much to announce. I don’t feel that I need to declare myself on all sorts of subjects anyway. I’m a bit more subdued than I have been. I’m not quite happy with that, because I like to be a little more lively, with a little bit more spirit. I’ll blame it on the too much of antipsychotic that I’ve had and that is slowly leaving my body. I don’t think that was a very good move of my psychiatrist and I’m not happy with it. I’ve written my SPN an email letting her know, but she is out of the office today and won’t get it until tomorrow morning. I’m taking my normal dose of antipsychotics tonight.
I’m going to lie down and take a nap.
Ciao,
Nora
It’s not been a bad day when you consider that I’m in the company of the ‘Black Dog.’ I think I was well prepared this morning when I got up and didn’t have to alter my expectations about the day too much. I knew it wasn’t going to be a fun day, so I just accepted that from the start.
Another Splendid Day 