Archive for fruit juice
Clouds and sleep…
I had to get up early this morning because my personal helper was going to be here at 9 am. As a result, I am two hours ahead of my schedule in everything. I’m trying to slow myself down as much as possible in order for time to catch up with me again, but I’ve not been successful yet. I’m going to write this post as slowly as I can and maybe that will do the job.
I’ve already taken my afternoon nap and very pleasant it was too. It was necessary that I took it for having gotten up so early. I’m not used to that, being wakened by the alarm clock. It’s definitely not my preferred way of waking up. I had to sit in my armchair and have several cups of coffee before I could even think about facing anybody. I do need my quiet moments when I first get up.
I do allow the dog to sit on my lap. I don’t have to have any complicated conversations with him. All I have to do is pet him. He and the cat are the easiest company first thing in the morning. They don’t make many demands on me. They are just happy that I’m up and that I make sure there’s food in their bowls. That’s not a very difficult task. And the cat wants her dish of milk and the dog wants fresh water. That’s easily done when I’m in the kitchen getting coffee.
We’re alternately having sun and then clouds in the way. When the sun comes out, the world is brilliant and much more cheerful. We didn’t get any rain out of all of those clouds today, but we may get some tonight. I haven’t needed to wear a jacket or a cardigan when I’ve walked the dog. The temperature is very pleasant, even though there’s a bit of a breeze. You can tell that the rain that we’ve had has done nature a lot of good. The grass in the fields is a lot greener and there are even mushrooms growing. I don’t know if they are edible. I’m not going to try and find out.
I’m having a tall glass of orange juice and the Exfactor was smart enough to get me the mild kind. That’s going to be much easier on my stomach because it’s less acid and tastes like it too. I really do prefer this kind. I don’t know how they make it less acid, but I appreciate it very much. I do have have to get my vitamin C in, after all, and I don’t know a better way. It’s very refreshing to drink.
Last night I had a craving for something hearty and luckily remembered that I still had some cheese in the refrigerator on the top shelf. It had been there for a long time, but it was still good. It had nothing fuzzy growing on it anyway. I ate as much as I could stand and was over my craving and I have enough left for future attacks. It’s wrapped up very well. It’s very nice when you discover the very food that you have a craving for in your refrigerator.
The dog wants to go for a walk so I have to end this epistle. He does seem to be in a hurry. He may just be bored, of course.
I hope you’re all having a nice day with good weather.
Ciao,
Nora
Early in the morning…
It’s early in the morning and the first birds are already singing even though it is not even dawn yet. It does sound very cheerful and promising and gives me lots of hope for the rest of the day. It’s not that I’m really ready to start the day yet. It is my plan to go back to bed for a while and sleep some more. It’s way too early for me to stay up and get the show on the road. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. I would walk around here like a lost waif.
I could do the dishes and change the bed and do the laundry, but I can do those things later in the day too, they don’t need to get done first thing in the morning. Especially not on a holiday. It is Ascension Day today, so it’s officially a day off. I plan to spend it mostly lazily with the odd chore thrown in. I do have to have something to show for my day. Besides, I’ve run out of soup bowls (I’ve only got five) so I do have to do the dishes. And the domestic help is going to be here tomorrow, so the kitchen needs to be cleaned up.
If I don’t get side tracked watching tennis at Roland Garros, it is my intention to sit in my armchair and read my thriller. I don’t make enough time for that now as it is. Getting around to reading seems to be the last thing I do. Every day it is my intention to do that, but every day it is something that falls by the wayside. It is not as if I have such a busy schedule, but the days seem to go by very quickly and are over before I know it.
Last night I watched an episode of Midsommer Murders and it was most amusing. Before it was on, I watched unimportant television that absolutely didn’t matter and was of a low entertainment value. I watched it just because it was on. That’s how lazy I was. If I don’t watch out, I’m going to turn into a vegetable. That’s why it is so important that I read and use some of my own imagination. It seems like that is too much of an effort.
It has been suggested that I reread a novel that I enjoyed a lot to get back into the habit of enjoying a good read. I may resort to that if all else fails. I have just the novel for it. That would be The Secret Scripture by Sebastian Barry. I did enjoy that one very much and wouldn’t mind reading it again. I may give that a try.
It is dawn now and the streetlights have gone off. The day has really officially started. I’m thinking about staying up for a while and taking my medicines and sitting in my armchair to read until I get tired. I’ve had two cups of coffee, but I’m all done with that and it’s time to switch to milk. Oh yes, I have to drink some orange juice too for the vitamins. It doesn’t agree with my stomach very much, but I’ll just drink a small glass of it. I do need to get my vitamin C.
I hope you’ll all have a good day with the kind of weather you want. I think we’re going to have a nice day. There should be lots of sunshine.
Ciao,
Nora
>More coffee, please!
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>Trying for inspiration in the early morning!
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Ciao,
Nora
>Pretending…
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Ciao,
Nora
>With a cup of coffee…
>I’ve done some more searching for Tyke’s photographs, but I’m still not able to find them. I can’t take a new one of him now, because it is dark and I don’t want to use the flash because it gives him red eyes. I’ll take some later today when there’s enough daylight in the apartment. Besides, he is sound asleep on the sofa and I don’t want to disturb his beauty sleep.
Nora
>Later in the evening…
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Ciao,
Nora
>Rest…
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I also want to point out that I have two diagnoses: manic depression and borderline personality disorder, and sometimes it’s hard to tell where one ends and the other one begins. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m undergoing the rapid cycling of the manic depression or the quick mood changes that belong to the borderline personality disorder. The latter has a lot of drama in her and an overdose of emotions that comes pouring out of her as if her whole house is being flooded. That person is very unstable and things are not good when she has the upper hand. I think she had the upper hand this weekend. That’s also the person who self damages as I did this weekend. I cut my wrists, but the knife was dull and I did limited damage.
I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday over the phone. He had gotten the report of the crisis hot line and knew what had happened, but had me tell it in my own words anyway. He agreed on the increase in medication, but said it would take a few days before I would really notice a difference. That’s what I thought too. It wouldn’t be so that I would take one pill extra and that would be it. He made an appointment to see me next week Monday and I thought that was an awfully long time from now, but I guess it can’t be helped. I’m seeing my SPN the day after, because she will be back from her holiday by then.
This is the only time I’m going to talk about the weekend anymore and the aftermath. I went to my GP in the afternoon to have my wrists looked at and they were disinfected and had some strips put on them and they were re-bandaged. They have to stay that way for a week. They are sore.
It’s early in the morning and I’m drinking my second cup of coffee. I’ve had one glass of juice, because despite the fact that I think it makes me sad, I want to get my vitamins in. It’s the fresh multivitamin fruit juice that I like so much. The coffee tastes awfully strong this morning. It packs a real punch. I think that’s one of the reasons I’m only going to have two cups.
I’m sitting here yawning and I’m really ready to go back to sleep. I will in awhile, after I’ve taken my medicines. I’m reading a good book called The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields. I’ve only just started it and I’m already hooked. She has such an engaging way of writing. That’s what I’ll read this morning before I fall asleep again.
Right, off I go. Have a good morning when you get up.
Ciao,
Nora
>Two cups of coffee…
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I was so exhausted yesterday evening. I sat here behind the computer and almost toppled over from tiredness. I tried to resist it, but ended up going to bed before it was 7 o’clock, I think. It was early, anyway. I had clean sheets on my bed, so it was wonderful to get in it, and I fell asleep almost instantly.
I left the bedroom door open, because I’ve found out that Tyke pretty much stays there anyway for most of the night and doesn’t get into trouble in the rest of the apartment. He’s right beside the bed when I wake up. That’s good, because I prefer sleeping with the door open. I don’t like to be in a room with the door closed.
I’ve got a bit of claustrophobia that I’ve learned to live with really well and I do see the need for closed doors. I mean, there are circumstances under which a door needs to be closed, but all the doors in the apartment are open and I even go to the bathroom with the door open so all the animals can go with me.
I woke up very early in the morning and had a glass of milk first for the thirst, but then realized that I really did need that cup of coffee to function well and get the last bit of sleep out of my mind. It did its job and I soon performed up to par, so a cup of coffee does have its uses. Then I took a long time deciding if I was going to have a second cup and finally decided that I would, but this will be my last one, because I’m more than fully awake now.
I remembered to get on the scale this morning and I have lost 3.5 kg since I have been on the new medication. So. if I want to get to the weight that’s supposed to be perfect for me and my age, and that is reasonable, I have to lose 14 kg. I think that will happen automatically without me worrying about it. I’m not making any effort now and I’m not obsessed by it. I will remember to get on the scale every now and then and keep track of how I’m doing. I’m not going hungry, but have lost my appetite for food and am easily satisfied. The Nutella is taking care of my craving for something sweet to eat and it’s nutritious too.
Drinking fruit juice makes me sad. I’ve had that suspicion for a while, but now I am sure of it. It seems like a strange theory, but it’s true and I’m not going to drink it anymore, because I had clear proof of it yesterday. I drank a glass of it after I hadn’t had it for a few days and was sad for a few hours afterwards. I didn’t know how to undo it, but wait it out. It finally passed after I had something to eat and took my medicines. People can have an intolerance for food, but I wonder if that can also affect them emotionally. I have a feeling it can. I think wine makes me sad too.
I think it’s because I feel so good now most of the time, that I notice it very quickly if I don’t and can find the cause and effect quickly too. I think a lot of times emotions are nothing more than the chemical reactions that take place in your body and mind. Shortages and overdoses happen and your feelings are a result of that. Why else do we have alcoholic beverages and foods that are pleasurable and nicotine and drugs? We have pleasure centers in our brains with chemicals that make us feel good. If you have a shortage there, you’re not going to feel so good and you’ll eat a chocolate bar to feel better, or have a drink, or sniff cocaine or any number of things. In my case, some of those things make me feel bad. They have an adverse effect.
This morning, very early, I heard all the birds sing as they woke up. I could hear them clearly, because all the windows are open at the top and that really does make a difference. It’s a shame that their chirping doesn’t last longer, because it’s so cheerful and I would love to live in a wood and hear all the birds wake up. I can’t identify any bird by sound, except the mockingbird, and he doesn’t live in this country. We used to have one in our front garden in Costa Mesa and I always liked listening to him.
I’ve taken my medicines a while ago and high time it was too, though I may be reacting to that second cup of coffee. Maybe I shouldn’t have had it, not being used to so much caffeine now. It makes you jittery. It’s much better to just stick to the one cup. These are lessons you learn as you go along. You realize what sort of junk you put in your body and how unnecessary that is. More is not better. If one cup works well, than two cups don’t work better.
It’s cloudy and 12C outside. It’s only going to be 13C today, not as nice as yesterday, but still in the double digits. We must remain optimistic and I have the windows open and the heater turned off after all. Oh, I just looked at the 10 day forecast and it doesn’t look very good at all. I will be closing the windows again and turning on the heater. Darn, that’s a shame. March is not very willing. We’ll have to wait until April for the good weather.
I’m going to take Tyke for a walk. He doesn’t know that yet and is sound asleep here by my feet. He’s already had his breakfast and is now digesting it.
Have a great day!
Ciao,
Nora
>In the early morning.
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I wemt to bed on time last night, because I was sleepy early, and for a change I am up early also and completely done sleeping. I double checked to make sure, but I really was and felt comfortable enough to get up. I´ve had one cup of coffee, but that´s all the caffeine I need for now and I´m drinking a glass of cold milk now. I think the new medication makes me thirsty, because I´m constantly in need of something cold to drink, and no, it can´t be water. I´ll never forget the insult of my first mother in law when she finally came to our apartment for a visit and said she could only stay for twenty minutes and that all she wanted to drink was a glass of water. Really! By European conventions that is a very bad thing to do.
Well, that´s pulling old cows out of the ditch, as they say, and we won´t do that.
So, I´m wide awake and now it turns out that I can go grocery shopping this morning with my sister after all, so I have to call her at 8 o´clock and let her know. She´ll be pleased to hear it, because we had planned to go at 4 this afternoon when it will be crowded. This also gives me the opportunity to clean the refrigerator before the domestic help gets here this afteroon. I think that´s the least I can do. I don´t want the poor woman to think that her task is hopeless.
I have to make a shopping list of what I have to get, though it´s not that much, at least not a great variety of things. Very much milk and catfood and rawhide sticks for the dog and coffee pads and Nutella! Some other things I´m not thinking of right now, but hopefully will soon.
I´ve lost 2.8 kilos in the past week. That´s good because I had gained 15 kilos this past year or so. It was due to the increase in my antipsychotics. It made me eat more and gain weight. I think they just make you gain weight period. This Welbutrin that I´m on now suppresses your appetite, so you lose weight. That´s better than the Effexor that made me gain weight. My mood stabilizer also makes me lose weight, but that effect had become undone by the effects of the other medicines.
I tried to eat my regular bowl of porridge the other day, but I ate it without the usual good appetite and I haven´t had any since. I have no desire to eat it and that´s saying a lot. I just eat bits and pices of things now and I drink a lot of milk. I´ve even finished the fruit juice and will buy a new container today because I think I need the vitamins even though it makes my ear and head itch where my eczema is.
Oh, I see it´s time to take my medicines. I wasn´t paying attention, so wrapped up was I in writing this post. I also have to get dressed and walk the dog.
Hav a good day, you all. I hope the weather is good for you. It´s supposed to be 7C here and we may have some light rain. Whoopie!
Ciao,
Nora
Another Splendid Day 
