Archive for fruit juice
>Sleeping Beauty?
>
You’re all not going to believe this, but I slept 9.5 hours last night. I don’t believe it myself, but it’s true. It’s been many years ago since I slept that long. It’s an absolute record breaking event and I should get a gold medal for it, or at least an honorable mention. I got up because I needed to take my medicines and the dog needed to be fed and walked, of course. I might have slept longer otherwise.
It may possibly have to do with the fact that I take my antipsychotics at night now instead of spread out during the day, which made me sleepy in the daytime. It may have to do with the new medication, although you are supposed to get insomnia from that. I haven’t noticed that, although I do go to bed later, but I don’t lie awake.
Either way, I am so grateful to be sleeping for such long stretches on end. I have wanted this to happen for such a long time, but didn’t think it ever would again. I thought I was doomed to a life of cat naps.
I’m trying to drink less coffee too and drink more milk. I can’t drink the fruit juice, because it upsets my stomach and makes my eczema itch. I can’t drink tea with sugar, because it makes me cough. I haven’t tried tea without sugar yet. Somehow it’s not as appealing. Cold milk quenches my thirst and is filling. When I don’t feel like eating, a glass of cold milk does the job. I don’t feel like eating lots of times, which is okay, because my body could feed quite a few cannibals. Coffee was an artificial method to try and make myself feel better, I don’t have to do that now. I feel better already.
I’m getting help in the household starting next Monday. This is really someone who comes to clean. First for two hours, but it can be for more if it’s necessary. Up to four hours, but I don’t think I will need that much time. Isn’t that great? It is such a relief to me to get someone in to help me get things back in order and to keep them in order. I will do a little bit of cleaning before she comes, but not too much. It has to stay realistic. I do have a problem that I need help with.
I have to go and bring some order into my life now. Just the ordinary odds and ends that belong to living with cats and a dog.
Ciao,
Nora
>Stumbling and fumbling…
>
I had a pan of noodles on the stove and fell sleep sitting in the corner of the sofa. Some time later I woke up to the smoke alarm. At first I couldn’t figure out what was wrong, but I did smell something funny. It took me a minute to figure out that it was the pan of noodles, now burned to a crisp. I opened the kitchen window and the back door and reset the smoke alarm and slowly the fumes left the apartment. It’s a shame about those noodles and I won’t be able to save that pan, but at least the apartment didn’t burn down. We call that ‘lucky while being unlucky.’ I should have nuked the noodles. They wouldn’t have burned. Oh well…
Now I’m sitting here half awake, unable to go back to sleep because of the excitement of it all and slightly hungry. I need to figure out what I’m going to eat instead. There’s not that much choice, because I’m not going food shopping until tomorrow afternoon. I’m having a glass of fruit juice for the energy and I can have a bowl of tomato soup later, but I feel like eating short bread cookies. Fat chance! Visions of sugar plums…
Good, the fruit juice is working and now I’m having another glass of it. I’m practically becoming a human being again. I was just beginning to wonder if the gas station would be open so I could buy some chocolate and cookies, but I think I’ll live now. A disaster has been averted.
I’m having a cup of coffee with the last bit of milk that I have left. From now on it is artificial creamer. That’s not something I look forward to, but at least I’ve not run out of coffee. That would have been really bad. I bought three bags of pads the last time I went shopping, just in case, and I think I will do that again today. Oh, I have to remember to buy vinegar to clean the Senseo machine. It’s high time, because it’s not giving me a full cup of coffee. There’s hard water deposit in it. Pledge and vinegar, that’s what I need to get.
I have an appointment with my SPN today and I had sent her an email explaining to her my intention to quit taking my medications. I know she read the email, because she told me so when she called me yesterday to change the time of the appointment. She didn’t say anything about it other than that we would discuss it today, but I do have a feeling of apprehension as though I’m going to have some heavy explaining to do and convincing. But I know I’m also a tough cookie and that once I make up my mind about something, it is hard to change it and I will maintain my right to do what I think is best. I do hope that I’m not going to run into all sorts of resistance, but I’m ready to deal with it. I hope for co-operation.
Well, here I am worrying ahead of time about attitudes that I don’t know a thing about. I’m anticipating all sorts of problems that I may not even run into. So I better put my mind at rest and think about something totally different, like, what am I going to wear today? I was thinking about wearing jeans, but I do have to find a nice top to go with them. I so very rarely wear jeans, but I saw them laying there yesterday and thought I might try them on today (with a belt, of course). It means having a good look in my closet for once. I haven’t done that in a while. Lord only knows what I’ll find. It will be a regular expedition.
Okay, on that happy note I’ll leave you. I wish you all a good morning and a happy day!
Ciao,
Nora
>Early Monday Morning…
>
It’s in the wee hours of the morning and as usual I found it necessary to be up and sit behind the computer when I ought to be in bed sleeping. But hey, there is enough time left for that. I do want to take advantage of the quiet hours before dawn and enjoy the stillness of the night. Already I look forward to the part that comes after this, when I will take my medicines and have breakfast and crawl back into bed with my good book, the end of which I am nearing. I went to sleep very early last night. I was completely done with the evening and ready to call it quits before it was even 9 pm. It was great to get under the covers with a cat by my feet and Jesker on his pillow. I didn’t have a snack, which was kind of a shame, and I have to plan my grocery shopping better the next time, but it felt good to lie down anyway.
I was gone from this world in no time at all and slept like a log until I woke up in a sweat and had to get out of bed to cool off and go to the bathroom. Then I went and turned on the computer and made myself a cup of coffee and the rest is history. I do enjoy myself from that point forward, although it is amazing that I can go back to sleep after I have had those cups of coffee that I drink while I am up. I am also out of fruit juice, so I really have to plan my grocery shopping better, because I would be having a glass of that now.
Last night I prepared those packages of books I still have to send. I’m also sending a book to my daughter that I accidentally ordered twice. I lost track of all the books I had, there were so many coming in at one point. I’m going to try and not order any new books this month, because I have enough to read, but it is difficult, because I have so many on my wish list and I’m always discovering new ones. I literally have an itch in my head to go to Bol.com and order a book, but I must contain myself. I first have to read a bunch of the books I already have and then I can order more. You are all witness to me stating this, now watch me break my own rule in the shortest amount of time. I have an addiction. I’m keeping track now off all the new books I have in a notebook. That way I won’t make the mistake of ordering the same book twice. The most important thing is to not run out of money.
It’s going to be 3C today and you know what? Any time it is not freezing and there is no strong wind blowing, it is pleasant outside. That shows you how quickly you can be happy with the least improvement in weather and how miserable it is to have freezing temperatures and wind. 3C is only 37F, so it’s not very warm, but it feels good and so much better than -3C.
I’ve just had a glass of cold milk and now I will get a plugged up nose, but I was so thirsty for something cold to drink, that I couldn’t resist the temptation. That’s why I needed that fruit juice. The milk is already making my eczema itch. I can have it boiled in porridge but not cold in a glass. It makes me itch all over. Maybe it was not really worth it. Oh well…
I just offered Jesker a treat, but he walked away in disgust and went to sleep at the other end of the room. He still doesn’t want to eat, but he’s drinking a lot of water. I have to keep checking his water bowl to make sure there is fresh water in it and not the slobbered kind. He’s moving around a bit easier and he’s a little more alert. I will try and take him to the field again today and see if he walks a bit better.
Okay, it’s time for the next part. I’m going to take my medicines and have breakfast. Yippee!
Have a good morning, you all.
Ciao,
Nora
>Strong Coffee…
>
I fell asleep on the on the sofa at 4:30 pm and woke up two hours later having had a very nice nap. It didn’t take much to fall sleep. All I had to do was lie down and close my eyes and I was gone. I remember having to share the pillow with Toby and when I woke up he was still there. It was a wonderful nap, very restorative and one that I absolutely needed, but then again, I need all my naps. There is never a nap that I take that is not a very much needed nap. I always feel that if I don’t go lie down right then, I will topple over on the spot and fall on my head and get a concussion. Such is my great need to go lie down and forget everything else. That’s why I didn’t quite get my chores done today, almost, but not quite.
I did get the kitchen floor squeaky clean with the scrub sponge and some elbow grease and all that nasty evidence of food spillage by the animals is gone. I also mopped the hallway where my bicycle had dripped a huge amount of mud onto the linoleum from the dirty snow outside. I scrubbed the kitchen counter that never seems to get clean enough and always had various stains on it, because it is made of steel with a pattern in it and I dislike it very much. It’s a pain to clean and must have been invented by a man who never cleaned kitchen counters. I’m sure of it. I took a break after each job, because my back is bothering me, but other than that there was no problem. It’s just the same old spot that always bothers me, right in the middle of my back. It’s my weak spot.
I’ve decided to feed the cats on the kitchen counter from now on, because they spill their kibbles so much and I’m always having to sweep up the spillage out from underneath the kitchen radiator and it is too much work. If I feed them on the counter it will be easier to clean up after them and the dog will not be tempted to eat their food, while he ignores his own kibbles. I don’t know why it took me so long to think of this, but there you have it. They sit on the counter half of their lives anyway, so I may as well feed them there too.
For a treat I had a tall glass of fruit juice and peanut butter eaten straight from the jar with a little teaspoon. It was great. It is one of my favorite treats and I like it as much as eating chocolates. I can’t eat too much of it, because I do get full quickly, but I savor it while it lasts. Now, I could eat many more chocolates than I could eat peanut butter, but I won’t buy the chocolates, because I will eat one box in one sitting and make myself sick eating them. I adore chocolates with a creamy filling. I like real bonbons the best. Chocolates melt in your stomach really well, so I can eat a lot of them without getting full too fast.
Now I’m having my last cup of coffee. I didn’t realize what time it was. I’m staying up past my bedtime, but that’s okay, I don’t have to be at my sister’s house until 11 am tomorrow. If I’m smart, I’ll sleep late so I won’t feel like I have to take a nap while I’m there. That would be highly embarrassing. Imagine having to fall asleep while you’re visiting someone. “Excuse me, but I have to go home now to sleep, or let me lie down on your nice sofa here.” I can see my sister’s face now.
I got another mooched book in the mail today. So far, I’ve mooched 70 books and I’m waiting for 10 more. I’ve given away 27 books and just sent 10 and have to send 14 more. So, I’m not doing too badly. I’m starting to run out of room on my bookcase and will have to do a bunch of rearranging. I’m trying to keep all the unread books together, but I may not be able to. They may disappear in the collection. That won’t be such a horrible thing, as long as I don’t forget about them.
You all know that I have my books arranged by color. That is, all but the mooched books. They are separate. There’s a huge temptation to add them to the color arranged books, but I’m afraid of losing track of them and forgetting what I already have. I suppose I could make a list of books that I’ve mooched. That would be one solution. Actually, that is not such a bad idea, now that I think of it. It would solve that problem quickly, because now I always have to get up and walk to the bookcase and check. Mmm… this sheds a whole new light on my arrangement of the books. I will have to think about that. This may be a little Eureka moment. Watch me rearrange my books now at this hour of the night when I’m at my most brilliant.
It’s 2C outside so it is definitely not freezing anymore and tomorrow it’s going to be 5C and raining. That’s not the weather that was forecast some time ago when they were talking about a white Christmas, but maybe that is for the best, because otherwise there would be traffic jambs. Now, when it is 5C outside, it feels positively warm. There are still icy patches of snow in the places where the sun never shines, but most of it is gone, thank goodness, because it was making a mess.
Alright, I’m wishing you all a merry Christmas and lots of good cheer and lots of good food to eat in good company. Even if that means just the two or one of you with your animal(s).
I’ve got a job to do!
Ciao,
Nora
>Christmas Eve
>
I slept well last night, about 9 hours, which is not bad when you consider I went to bed early too. I was in bed by 9:30 pm and asleep a short time after that. When I got up this morning, I was not quite done sleeping, but I had to get up on time and be functioning, because my sister and I were going grocery shopping early to avoid the crowds. Well, the whole neighborhood must have had the same idea, because there was already a crowd when we got there. So, we got our trolleys and split up and did our shopping and met again at the cash registers. I thought I had spent too much money, but the total wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated, which was a relief. I had bought some extras because of the holidays, because you do have to get into the swing of things a little bit and I had to buy food for Joost, who is going to be here the day after Christmas. He does have a healthy appetite.
After I got home and had unloaded everything, and had eaten breakfast, I went back to bed and slept for another two hours, because I just couldn’t wait to do that and while I was waiting for my sister to come and pick me up earlier, I had almost fallen asleep on the sofa. I think it’s because I’m back on my old dose of antipsychotics again, but I’d rather be sleepy than paranoid and, let’s face it, that’s what I was yesterday. As a matter of fact, I just had to call for a new recipe for them, because I didn’t realize I was almost out of them and I got my psychiatrist on the line and I told him I was taking three tablets and he didn’t complain about it or protest. He’s leaving it up to me, which I think is pretty decent of him. I do have to learn my own lessons, after all, and not climb in the phone to him every time something is wrong.
So, today I have to finish cleaning the apartment. I have to get on my knees and scrub the kitchen floor, especially the area where the animals always eat. It’s pretty messy there. You can tell it has not been cleaned for awhile. I’ve got a great scrub sponge, though, that works wonders. It and a little elbow grease will take care of it. Plus lots of sudsy warm water, of course. I’m a great believer in that and it feels good to put your hands in.
I also have to walk the dog again and I hope he forgets it for just a while, because I’m not quite ready yet. I’d like one more cup of coffee before I really get started. I so need that. And I would like to drink a tall glass of juice, because I’m very thirsty, so I suppose I’ll have that first.
I just noticed that a cat barfed under the coffee table, so that will be my first clean up job. Oh, aren’t I lucky? Fortunately, I have lots of paper towels.
I am most definitely not in the same mood I was in yesterday and I can only assume it is because of the medication and it seems to me that I have tried to do with less before and that it didn’t work out then either. I said at the time, that I would never decrease the amount again, but for some reason I had forgotten that or I thought it was necessary. I must remember not to do this, but to stick to this dose no matter what. Even if it does make me sleepy and a bit flat emotionally. It is preferable to how I felt yesterday, which was just awful and not at all the way I would want to go through life. I seemed to have forgotten my common sense and my optimism and I could only see the dark side of things and be suspicious of everything and everybody. What sort of an attitude is that?
Well, I must end this now. All sorts of duties call me. I’m sitting on the edge of my seat getting ready to do them.
Have a good day!
Ciao,
Nora
>What I should be doing!
>
I should be rushing around getting ready and walking the dog before I go to the post office, but I’ve pushed my pause button and am going to sit here just a while longer and enjoy the not so quite start of the day. Why? Because I can and because the dog is lying here beside me snoring and he has already been out for a piddle and my coffee tastes especially good. Besides that, my mood is extremely good right now and I want to keep it that way for a little while longer and not disturb it with aggravating activity yet. I know the post office isn’t open yet, though by the time I’m dressed and walk the dog it would be, but I have time yet and all will get done in the end.
At least my packages and Christmas cards are all ready to go and all I have to do is pick them up and put them in my shopping bag. It may be a bit tough to ride my bike, because there’s still snow outside and it is still freezing. I was standing by the back door when the dog did his piddle and shivered. Of course, he took forever, because he had to investigate everywhere and found one spot in particular very interesting and I wonder if there is a hedgehog there that took shelter. It was too cold and snowy to go out in my slippers to have a look. Every once in a while there is a hedge hog out back that wants to look for spots to hide under and the dog is always very curious when he runs into one.
I started my morning with a big glass of fruit juice, but realized very quickly that it doesn’t work the way a cup of coffee does and after half an hour, I very quickly walked to the Senseo machine and brewed myself a strong one, which I drank quickly and which restored me to my senses soon after. Yes, I do need my caffeine or I’m a sad camper who does not function well. I’m a typical Mickey Spillane writer who lives on caffeine and nicotine. I should have lived decades ago when it was still glamorous and I could have been a babe and have had interesting cocktails to drink in a rundown office on the backstairs, with a loaded gun in the desk drawer. Such is my fantasy this morning.
I’ve very quickly read as many blog posts as possible in the little time I allowed myself to do so, because I was up rather late this morning by my standards and that means that I had a good night’s sleep. I slept for at least 8 hours and feel quite spunky now. I don’t know what’s come over me, but for some reason I’m managing to sleep like a regular human being. I do get up in the middle of the night once, but have enough sense to go back to bed and I hardly remember falling asleep again. I’m very fond of my duvet and roll myself into it as if it were a sleeping bag with only the top of my head showing. I think I would like a heavier duvet in the wintertime, but I’m not cold. I think I would just enjoy the weight of it. I must look into that the next time I’m at Ikea. I need a new duvet anyway. This one is getting kind of threadbare.
I put a whole load of laundry through the machine last night and I would love to dry it outside, but the weather forecast predicts 2C and rain, so I think I can’t take the chance, which is really a shame, because there nothing like having your clothes dry outside. They smell so good when you bring them back in and put them away in your closet. The next best thing is when all your clothes smell of your favorite perfume. I’ve also tried those lavender sachets, but I find them next to useless, as I never have any of my clothes smell like lavender and I think it’s all just a rip off. I have thought of putting dryer sheets in the closet and hoping that their scent would make my clothes smell good, but I don’t know if they would stain them. Of course. all my clothes also smell of smoke and that is an odor that is hard to get rid off, unless you constantly wash your clothes, even when they aren’t dirty. That’s the kind of wear end tear I don’t need, though.
I just checked my bank account and my money isn’t there yet. Luckily, I have cash to pay with at the post office. I do have my guardian angel, I tell you. I am concerned about my money not being there and I will have to make a phone call today and find out where it is.
The dog is becoming restless and is giving me the evil eye. It says, “Come on woman, I need to go out,” so I guess I better do that now.
It’s still plenty cold out and of course I didn’t wear my gloves, so the hand that wasn’t in my pocket is very cold. It’s -4C and the snow is till just as thick as it was yesterday and nice and crunchy. I don’t see how I’m going to ride my bike in it, but I’ll worry about that when the time comes. It looks very slippery on the streets where all the cars have driven. I’ll have to walk in some spots.
Now that I’ve been out, the spell has been broken and I feel that the day has officially started. That means I can’t sit here much longer, although I can prolong the inevitable a little bit. I haven’t opened the blinds yet to let the daylight in, although I will do that soon and watch the sun shine on the snow. I hope the weather forecasters got it wrong and that it doesn’t rain today and that I can hang up my laundry to dry. I will tempt fate and hang it out anyway and see what happens.
I haven’t got anything planned for Christmas and I think I will just pretend it is a day like any other day, but just a little bit more jubilant. I don’t have a tree up, nor any other decorations, except for the sparkly branches in the bedroom and the Christmas cards that are hanging on the living room door. I do enjoy getting and sending cards. That’s one tradition I will honor. I’m not going to roast a goose or a turkey and I won’t be drinking eggnog. I think I have some Bailey’s Irish Cream left that I may imbibe in. I do always think of that as a Holiday drink. It’s the smoothest stuff I know.
Well, I’m off to hang up the laundry, so I all expect you to keep your fingers crossed for me for dry weather. Just think, all I want is nice smelling clothes. Oh yes, and money in my bank account.
I hope you all have a terrific day and that you have all your Christmas shopping done, because I would hate to think of you having to do your shopping now.
Ciao,
Nora
>What is it anyway?
>
After I had that bowl of porridge this afternoon, I couldn’t resist the temptation and laid down on the sofa for just a little while with my book and, of course, I fell asleep for an hour and a half, but it was very pleasant and I don’t feel at all like I’ve ruined it for tonight, because I still feel that I’ve got plenty of sleep left in me. As a matter of fact, I’m yawning as I write this and tears are running down my face and I’m yawning so hard, that I’m in danger of dislocating my jaw, which I will have to push back in place myself if it does. Everything is crackling and popping every time I yawn. It will have to be part of my self sufficiency, how to relocate my jaw after yawning. Just like changing light bulbs and reconnecting the computer.
The Exfactor always thought that I didn’t know how to do those things. He assumed I was helpless. He didn’t know I had 22 years experience at being not helpless, at being competent. He was a rescuing knight on a white horse whether you wanted to be rescued or not. He pulled your survival tools right out of your hands and made you unskilled and all thumbs. Some people are that way. They are Super Good Samaritans and don’t let other people figure things out for themselves. There are Mother Theresas all over the world in all guises. They are so eager to do good deeds, that they are constantly looking for victims and if they can’t find them, they create them.
It feels like it is very late at night already, but is isn’t. I’ve got my pajamas and my bathrobe on. The pharmacy delivered my medication. I just told them to do it and didn’t give them a reason why. I very easily could have picked it up myself, but I didn’t feel like going out at the end of the afternoon when my prescriptions were being faxed. There’s always a lot of traffic then and I do so hate crossing those two intersections at that time of the day.
I’ve never gotten quite competent at riding my bike again when I came back to the Netherlands. I do a good job, but I always worry about the traffic. I feel very vulnerable after all those years of always driving a car. I feel especially so when my bike is loaded with groceries and I’m glad I live so close to the grocery store, because I worry even over that short distance. I still yell at pedestrians downtown that step of the sidewalk in front of my bike. They are suicidal, but I will have the biggest injuries and when you live alone, you don’t want a broken arm. It’s hard to go to the toilet on your own with only one arm functioning. I yell, “Watch out, watch out!” I can’t ring my bell fast enough. Or at people who walk on the cobblestoned streets, “Will you please go walk on the sidewalk?” Those cobblestoned streets make you rattle and shake as it is. It’s hard to keep control over your bike. You just hobble all over the place.
It’s all an effort by the city to make the streets downtown look as authentic as possible, but those cobbletones are murder on your bike, or your ankles when you walk on them. Sturdy shoe wear is advised. Ladies with high heels shouldn’t go there, you see evidence of them stuck in the cracks. Not the ladies, but the high heels.
I’m having a terrifically tall glass of fruit juice to quench my thirst. Drinking coffee makes you thirsty and this fruit juice is the greatest stuff. It is freshly squeezed and kept in the cooler at the store. I could drink glasses of it, but I do want to make it last and it is high in calories, but it has all kinds of vitamins in it. I drink two glasses of it a day and that gives me a bunch of the vitamins I need. I also drink a lot of milk and as a result my nails grow very quickly and so does my hair. The porridge I eat is high in vitamin B and iron.
Specsavers called this evening and said that the lenses for my glasses were there, so I’m going in tomorrow afternoon to have them put into the frame. It shouldn’t take long to do it and I’m seeing my friend Von at the same time. I haven’t seen Von in a while and it will be good to hang out with her. No doubt we will sit by our usual café, but hopefully under the awning where there is heating, although it hasn’t been that cold outside the last few days and there has been no rain. The leaves are dropping very quickly off the trees, though. It’s going very rapidly right now, but some of the trees look spectacular still. Not all of them are equally pretty and only the imported maples are really awesome. Some trees just turn brown and that is it. Some turn yellow and that is much better.
I found the glasses that I had lost. They were in a box in my bedroom that had photos and photo frames in it. I don’t know how they got in there and I found them quite by accident, but now that I have them again, I must say that I don’t really like them and that I like my old glasses better and that I’m glad that I’m getting the proper lenses put into those. I’ve tried them out, of course, and I can’t wear them behind the computer and do better with them off. It seems the worse my vision gets for far away, the better it gets for close by. I don’t know why I thought these new glasses were better for me, because they are not at all attractive. At least, I don’t think so. I think I look like a very stern school mistress who should have her hair in a bun and a pencil behind her ear. I look much kinder in my old glasses.
I have creative therapy in the morning and I will be looking at that last painting I made and try to figure out what’s missing in it, because something is. It is too stilted as it is now. There’s not enough life in it. It needs more abundance, more joie de vivre. I’ll either fix it or ruin it. It’s a 50/50 chance that I take. That’s what skill is all about. Next I need to do a painting that brings me back to the basics. Just the original elements that I started out with, but very well combined. I’m futzing too much now with other little details and I don’t want to do that. It distracts me from my main design. That’s what I need to get back to.
Why is it that I get oodles of energy the later the night gets? I really enjoy myself late at night, that’s when I feel best. I’m complete in my satisfaction and contentment. I will take my medications now and maybe that will slow me down. I need to get sleepy now and not excited about being up.
Alright, I think I have made this post long enough. I don’t want the length to be overwhelming. I hope you all have a good night’s sleep and I will “see” you all in the morning, fit as a fiddle.
Ciao,
Nora
>HIgh Noon!
>
I’ve had one mug of coffee and a tall glass of fruit juice since I’ve been up and clearly that’s not enough, so I have to make up the shortage quickly. I just made myself a double Senseo and its creaminess is beckoning me to drink it while still too hot. Do I risk a burned tongue?
I’m so glad today is Sunday and nothing is really expected of me. I have to put the clean dishes away, but that will be done in one minute’s time, and I have to water the plants, which I neglected to do yesterday, and that is another minute’s time. I’ve already walked Jesker the long way around and called my older sister and wrote emails and read some blogs.
The Exfactor is not coming over. I’ve called him off. I had such a good time while he was gone on his vacation and I didn’t see him for ten days, that I didn’t really want to see him again. He had gotten into the habit of coming here twice a week for a cup of coffee and I don’t really want that anymore. I told him I wanted to see him if it was really necessary and not just to sit and chat about nothing over a cup of coffee.
We never have very important conversations anyway, because the Exfactor doesn’t share a lot and he doesn’t listen well to me. I want to be more independent of him and not rely on him for every little thing that goes wrong. I don’t want him to assume that he can just drop in here whenever, letting himself in with his own keys.
The experiment with the Oxazepam failed. Yesterday afternoon I noticed that I became very agitated and uneasy and I immediately took the missing dose and very quickly felt much better. I suppose that after a few days my body started to notice the difference and wanted what was missing. I don’t know why I get it in my head to change doses anyway, while everything is working fine. I guess I always want to prove to myself that I can do with less, especially since the Oxazepam sometimes tends to make me feel sleepy.
Although that may be intrinsic to myself and part of my mood changes. It seems I get very tired before I have a mood change, possibly before I get hypomanic, and I need to keep an eye on that.
I feel sleepy right now, but I refuse to go and lie down, though the sofa beckons. I won’t do it unless I teeter from sleepiness. I slept very well last night and although the alarm clock went off at seven, I have no memory of shutting it off and slept until 10 am. So did Jesker on his pillow beside the bed.
By the way, his eyes are looking very good. There is no redness below his upper eyelids and I think that for now the infection is gone, though I keep applying the ointment and I won’t rest easy until we’ve seen the vet. It will be a minor miracle if it’s gone. I worried about him getting a bath and it irritating his eyes, but I needed not have been. If anything, it seemed to have helped.
Laurie’s Boscoe just turned fourteen and he has diabetes as well as cataracts, but he seems to be doing great and it gives me great hope for Jesker who is twelve. Cocker Spaniels don’t get that old, but I hope to have Jesker with me for a few more years.
Well, I guess I’ll go do some ironing and the other little chores now. Three chores and then I can sit down again, that’s the rule. I hope I don’t give out ahead of time.
Have a lovely day. I’ll be back here later.
Ciao…
Another Splendid Day 
>Drinking coffee…
January 31, 2010 at 4:31 am · Filed under blogs, books, cafés, coffee, comments, fruit juice, Jesker, party, snow, weather
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I’m sitting quite cozily by the desk lamp drinking my coffee after having just finished a tall glass of fruit juice for the thirst. This time I was smart enough to buy two large cartons of fruit juice, so I have enough left, although I may come to find out that I need three to last me the week. The stuff is so good when you are thirsty and nothing else will do to quench that thirst. Not even cold milk, which I used to think was the best cold drink when I was diabetic and didn’t know it and was always thirsty. I would drink a liter of it in one go. Now I just drink tall glasses of juice and I love the slightly sour taste of it, because the juice is not too sweet. I like mixed yellow fruits better than plain orange juice, and no matter how well I shake it, the best is always at the bottom of the carton, because that’s where all the pulp is. I could write a treatise on good fruit juice probably.
Jesker is lying right beside me and has tried to get me to get dressed because he wanted me to take him out. He got me to follow him to where me clothes and boots were and then looked at me with sorrowful eyes. Of course, I’m not going for a walk now, he just had to go out back, but he was not quite happy about that. He complained a little bit and then grudgingly went to sleep, but I’m sure I haven’t heard the end of it yet. I’m sure in his little brain he’s just waiting for the next moment to come along when he can try and lure me outside again. He never forgets.
It snowed during the night and there are a few centimeters. I’m wishing for it to be gone, although it looks quite pretty, but I’m not fooled by the beauty of it and remember very well how slippery it can get if it stays and freezes. It’s supposed to get up to 2C today, so it should melt, but there aren’t any guarantees. It never did get that warm yesterday either and it snowed in the afternoon, although it was supposed to be 2C then also. In the north of the country there is more snow, so I’m glad I live down here in the south. Those few hundred kilometers do make a difference and we are less influenced by the sea, which makes it a bit dryer and warmer here. It’s a good place to live, as climates go, but that’s not the only reason. I live in the Dutch mountains.
I finished Animal Dreams by Barbara Kingsolver and have now started her novel Pigs in Heaven. I’ve read this novel before and also the one that came before it, but it’s been long enough since I read it that it will be like reading a new book again. As I read it, I remember bits and pieces of it, but it’s still fun. Animal Dreams was an interesting book. There was a lot of sadness in it, but very realistically in that tragedy happens to people in the most bizarre ways and that we have to learn to live with that. There was also joy in the book underneath it all and it does have a satisfactory ending. I don’t say a happy ending, because no such thing exists. Well, endings don’t exist, do they? One person or the other dies, but the rest of the people go on living. They have to, that’s their fate. To carry on the story endlessly until someone can come along and write it down again.
Jesker has given up on me and has gone to sleep on his pillow in the bedroom. I’m surprised he didn’t try to change my mind again. I suppose he realized his timing was off.
I just looked outside and see that there are already footsteps in the snow and tire tracks. I’m surprised, it being Sunday. I wouldn’t expect anyone to be up that early, or to be out that late. Of course, the cafés don’t close until 3 am, so it could be people coming home from a night out. I think some places stay open even longer, but I think that’s in the summertime when you can get home when the sun is up. I’m not a party animal, so I don’t know much about these things. I haven’t stayed up to party all night since I was 26 and it was New year’s Eve and I saw the morning coming. That’s a long time ago.
It’s very nice here with my bathrobe on. I have no desire yet to go back to bed. I am wide awake. I think I will stay up and visit some blogs that I’ve been neglecting, because I visit them, but very often lately I haven’t been leaving any comments and I feel like that’s just a bit antisocial. It’s like peeking in, but not letting anyone know you’ve been there. Of course, lately I haven’t felt like I know what to say, I’ve been so empty of words that are cheerful and it’s been an effort to say anything at all.
Have a good Sunday you all. I hope your snow melts if you have any.
Ciao!
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