Archive for December 11, 2009
>Just not happening…
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I had planned on going grocery shopping this afternoon, but the weather worsened in the course of the day and when I got home from creative therapy it was miserably cold and windy and wet. I didn’t want to be out on my bike anymore and parked it in the hallway. I did go out to walk the dog and cursed the wind that was blowing and all I could think about was being warm and cozy inside.
During the coffee break at creative therapy some of us in the smoker’s room had discussed smoking and cancer and just then I coughed up a big green phlegm (sorry, this is unappetizing) and I happened to mention that I had a nodule on the lymph gland in my throat for more than two months now and that it was getting bigger. So, then I got the advice that I better go see my doctor and they were real serious about it, so I grabbed my mobile phone and made an appointment right away for Monday afternoon at 4 pm. Of course, then the feeling of dread didn’t leave my head and I imagined all sorts of things being wrong with me and that feeling has stayed with me all day. I haven’t done a Google search yet, because I don’t know what to search for exactly, but I imagine the worst.
Anyway, I’m slightly preoccupied with this now and I keep touching that nodule and it is a little sore. I guess I keep touching it in the hope that it will be gone. Oh, I just realized there’s a little one growing on the other side too in exactly the same spot. I hadn’t noticed that before. There must be many reasons why your lymph glands get nodules on them. Right? As a result, I was a little bit distracted and didn’t do the jobs that I had planned to do, but sat at the dining table drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and doing a lot of thinking. This is possibly a result of Maggie May’s dilemma who is seriously ill and whose situation has come to worry me quite a bit and has made me think about life and death issues. Thinking about those things will take care of any depression you may have. It will scare it right out of you.
So anyway, I didn’t get any of my jobs done, although the night isn’t over yet and there are some hours left before I’ll go to bed. I may have time to do the dishes, if I’m so inclined, but I always feel funny about doing housework in the evening, as if I’m not supposed to be doing that. My mother never did anything after we did the dishes after dinner, except make coffee, so I guess I take after her. Besides, the kitchen isn’t very bright at night and I would miss the dirty spots on the glasses. I need a better light over the sink. I’m now trying to figure out how to do that. I think there is a way.
I made a terrible drawing at creative therapy today and I didn’t even care. I thought, “Oh what the heck, it’s one of my last ones, it doesn’t matter.” I’m coloring it in with ink and that may actually improve it. I have two days left to produce something decent. Maybe I’ll have a stroke of genius on Monday all of the sudden and make something wonderful. And maybe Rome was built in one day. I just realized that I would have liked to have made one more collage and I think that if I work fast, I may be able to do it, if I can find the right images. I’ll have to look through some magazines I have here and see what I can come up with. I steal magazines wherever I am (not in stores, in waiting rooms), and I have some very good ones here. I almost feel like an evil witch coming up with my little ideas, hee hee!
Oh, by the way, I’m still wearing my new boots and have been all day and they are very comfortable and keep my feet warm and dry. You know how you have some footwear that you have to take off the minute you get home? Well, these I don’t. I can wear them non stop. I’m going to toss out two pairs of boots this weekend that are both worn out past repair and I’m never going to buy cheap boots again, because it’s just not worth it. I can only wear them one year and then they’re worn out completely. It’s because of my crooked back and my uneven legs. It makes me wear my shoes and boots out fast if they’re not very strongly made. I need very sturdy footwear. Believe me guys. Spend money on good shoes!
I darn near killed three very good house plants. First I forgot to water them and they went limp and then, in my zeal to save them, I over watered them and they started to drop their leaves, leaving them kind of ragged looking. I know they will recuperate, but it will take a while and in the meantime I’m afraid to touch them for fear that they’ll drop more leaves. I tell you, you can tell a lot about my mental state of health by looking at my plants. If they look poorly, I’m not doing well. If they’ve died, I’m in trouble. The thing now is to nurture them back to health again. If I can do that, all is well. Or I may have to go out and buy new plants. That’s another option.
Now I’ve missed the 6 pm news and the 8 pm news, which means that I’ll have to watch the 10 pm news. Never fear, there’s always a news program sooner or later.
Well, that’s all I have to tell you tonight. I’m going to get my pajamas on and vegetate. That’s always a nice way to spend the evening. It does mean that I have to take those nice boots off. Oh well…
Ciao,
Nora
>Believe it or not….
>
I just managed to wash and style my hair and it only took me 25 minutes to do it. That’s a long time, isn’t it? I have to do everything just so and let the conditioner sit in my hair for a couple of minutes because of the color strengthening qualities it has. Then, because I don’t have a hair dryer, I have to rub it with a towel until it’s as good as dry and then comes the tricky part. Styling it with wax and hairspray. Goodness, it’s always a big question if that’s going to turn out well in one go. I fluff things with my fingers the way the hairdresser does, but I must not always fluff right, because sometimes I don’t get the required result and have to re-fluff many times. You also have to know when to stop fluffing and leave well enough alone and start spraying. Half a can ought to do it. That will keep things in place. After that, I can’t touch it until it has all dried up and set, so I can’t change into my clothes for a while. That’s a good excuse to sit and have another cup of coffee and a cigarette.
I slept so well last night. There’s nothing wrong with my sleeping pattern at the moment. I go to bed on time and sleep through the night, although I get up once to piddle. I sleep walk to do that, I’m barely aware of it. The animals don’t even bother getting up. They know it’s not worth it.
Just as I was about to give up on my almost last pair of comfortable boots, my sister gave me a pair of new ones. They are very nice and go all the way to my knees. They’re dark brown and have a low heel, which is perfect for me, and a zipper all the way up. They have buckles in the back where they can be adjusted for your leg width, so you can make them as tight fitting as you want. The timing couldn’t have been better, because the boots that I have been wearing were worn out just about and I was getting ready to toss them in the garbage. They are beyond repair. So you see, I do have a guardian angel. This time she came in the guise of me sister. The other day she came in the guise of my older sister who sent me money by mail out of the blue. That’s been put in safekeeping. Now, my older sister is a widow and my younger sister is divorced, so they don’t have to be so generous.
I’m going to creative therapy this morning and will have to get dressed for that shortly. I decided that I didn’t want to miss that today. I also have to go grocery shopping and I’m mentally preparing myself for it. I’m not looking forward to it, but I know that I will feel very good about myself once it’s done. The Exfactor can’t be of any help to me at all, because he has broken his collarbone when he was stunting with a trial motorcycle. I was going to say, when he wasn’t acting his age, because what is a 58 year old man doing on a trial motorcycle? He also bruised his ribs and is feeling quite sore and can’t do much. I’m sure he was showing off for his girlfriend, though he will never admit it.
I’ve gotten dressed and walked the dog and it isn’t horribly cold outside. I like the cold, crisp air on my face, although it is supposed to rain today. There’s no wind to speak of and that is always a lot more pleasant. It’s 8C, so that’s not too cold. I’m dressed for it now in my super new boots. It’s supposed to get colder over the next couple of days and we may even get a flurry of snow, but none that will stay on the ground. I don’t mind if it’s cold, as long as the wind doesn’t blow and the sun is out. It’s very bearable then.
I seem to be in an area of silence in my low pressure system. Nothing much is happening. I woke up in a fairly good mood and have managed to hold on to it so far. I’m very much living in the moment, taking it one step at the time, only planning things a few hours ahead of time. If I can figure out what to do today, then that is fine with me. I will have accomplished that. I can plan to do things, but I must allow for the occasional nap if I need it, although I only took one yesterday and that was enough and I had more than enough energy to make it through the day and sleep well at night too. I have planned four things for today and if I get them all done, I will be mighty proud of myself. If I accomplish two of them, then that is okay too. That’s what I’ll do every day. Set some goals for myself and try to accomplish them, make some minimal and some maximal goals. Three will be the average. I think that’s a lot for right now. Especially for someone who hasn’t been accomplishing much of anything lately.
Alright, I have to go and make some cigarettes before I leave. I can’t be without my smokes.
I hope you all have a lovely day with lots of sunshine.
Ciao,
Nora
Another Splendid Day 